PR and I go back and forth on this a lot: he has a small, but justified moral objection to the name of this blog. He sees it as appropriative, since I don’t speak the language (well). I see the title, in the words of the inimitable, irascible Aaron Sorkin, in one of his most underrated series: “[as] a tacit admission of guilt and a silent act of contrition and that’s what’s required here.” I know I’m being bad, I know I’m taking beans from the witch’s garden, so I’m apologizing right up front for being the worst definition of a “gaijin.”

…But the food is So. Damn. Tasty.

Anthony Bourdain (my other husband? I have so many!) brought up the same question of authenticity and letting the horde in at the gate in this article from Salon from 2014. It’s an interesting read and codifies a lot of my concerns about what I’m doing.

But the food is still So. Damn Tasty!

In my defense:

“David Chang is authentic for sure in that he is sincerely offering the most kick*ss food around.”  – Alexander Chee

Against me stands the question:

“…At what point [does] cultural appropriation become exploitative inside a global economy that profits off the backs of brown bodies that consumers don’t like to talk about, especially when their mouths are full with exquisite morsels of deliciousness…Must good food also be ethically ‘good’? Or is it only required to be ‘tasty’?” – Paula Young Lee

I don’t have the answers. I’m just trying to make the food that I love; food I can’t get anywhere around here. I do so with my head bowed. I pray that’s enough.

I grew up in a somewhat…chaotic home. We were poor, but we lived in a huge house with tons of books and had airs above our station. Like, I was chronically underweight as a kid (ah, those were the days), but damn if I wasn’t near the top of my class every year! Intelligence was prized above appearances, which caused a lot of friction between me and my parents. Why, you ask? Well, you see, we lived in a very small, socially stratified town. Either you had, or you had not, and like any 7-year-old, I didn’t understand why I “hadn’t.” As such, I got bit by the “uppity” bug really early.

“My friends get to go to <Insert Local Resort Town Here>, why can’t we go?”

“Because we’re not that kind of people.”

“It looks really cute! There are ponies!”

“We’re too poor. We’re not in that phase of life.”

“Well, can I have a few friends over to visit?”

“No! Are you crazy? Do you want them seeing the way we live?”

*blinks, looks around, sees a spotless Victorian mansion* “…Yes?”

But what I lacked in social contact, I made up for with Martha. Oh, Martha! With your infinite resources to make mozzarella from scratch, create succulent wreaths and host Thanksgiving in your Party Barn! I’d lose myself in a world where everyone was rich, and polite, and helpful, and creative – not raucous, and secretive, and judgmental, and weird.

I still find the old MSL extremely relaxing, almost in an ASMR way. In fact, and this sounds completely counterintuitive, I often find myself putting her on to pump myself up before I clean – I have anxiety and depression, so cleaning the house is a daunting task. Martha keeps me from feeling overwhelmed, with the added benefit of inspiration! (P.S. I highly suggest you seek out the original MSL episodes if you are similarly afflicted. I’d share my source, but I really don’t want them to get DMCA’d. They are easy enough to find, if you look.)

So here I am on the flip side of childhood and I have my cool Permanent Roomate. He’s restaurant-trained, inventive, and he loves food. He’s taught me a lot and I him, with my crazy, weeby ways. And we both have a minor major crush on David Chang. So the following clip warmed the cockles of my jaded, Millennial heart: http://www.marthastewart.com/1002182/pork-bun-recipe-chef-david-chang (Oh, Martha! Why must you gate your videos? Youtube will not hurt you, I promise!).

Apparently, Martha is a giant David Chang stan, as well she should be! Perhaps she should follow my Pinterest Board: David Chang is a God and I want to have a beer with him.

So, to Martha Stewart, who infused my fraught childhood with her WASP-y magic, I salute you! And as for David Chang, well, if you ever venture to the frozen north, I owe you a beer.

…Here’s a Shokugeki no Soma screen!

If anyone’s wondering what the fabled SwampWitch looks like, imagine Shiomi crossed with Isami Aldini, with a healthy dollop of Nao Sadatsuka thrown in (whatever happened to her? Guess I’ll finally have to crack open the manga!)

But this scene looked so much like PR and me, I had to laugh. Gosh, I love this show!

But for now, I need to figure out how to add a sidebar to this post page!

Olsen is nice, but confusing!

-SW